Bah.
Damn. I shouldnt have taken that nap that stretched into a 4-hour zzz instead of the 2-hour snooze I intended. Now I can't sleep at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. and all sorts of weird thoughts are running through my head.
A kind of gloom has settled upon me, and my face muscles just felt like they couldn't lift into a smile anytime soon. Not a genuine one anyway, and I have absolutely no idea why. Suddenly finding fault with everything around me, dishing out skeptical remarks and complaining about every nitty gritty happenings. I felt like I turned into a bitchy hag overnight, and how scary is that.
Thinking about the usual nonsense, and started to wonder about the future more than I ever did, oh I don't know, 2 years ago? I never felt so unsure of myself since secondary school. All of a sudden, finding a job that can last me a lifetime and I can actually live with has became a question of utmost importance, as friends around me are graduating and stepping into the workforce soon. I change my choice everyday, from banking to PR to HR to restaurant management. I'll like to think that I would find out once I graduate and circumstances will force me to make a choice. But I just cannot visualize myself doing something I'll hate for the rest of my life, although it's highly probable since I would just forget about changing a job once I settle myself into one, mostly due to laziness. (omg is this sentence long or what. haha.)
I know we cannot predict the future but I just wish that I have more control over my life than just letting it dart around aimlessly. This is really one wish that I hope will come true.
Absolutely no excitement over my birthday. Sean finds it sad that the birthday girl has to do everything. I told him, who else but me? Not complaining about the stuff I have to do, just feeling grumpy. I should get myself a Little Miss Grumpy tee, to accompany my Late and Chatterbox. But I've only seen Mr Grumpy around... *rattles on*
Labels: me, rants, resolutions
